to real-eyes

she never knew why she did

why she went to the dungeon.

unexplainable

uncontainable

simply happening

simply becoming truth.

was she shy to ask?

was she scared to wonder?

she finally built courage to ask herself these questions

and the answer was yes.

she was content to know this.

she knew a little bit more.

life went on as usual,

but this knowing was now present.

and it came with her

every-time she went.

she felt shame around that knowing

like she opened a door that cannot be shut.

did she feel this is where she deserved to be?

did she see the dungeon as disgusting and dirty?

yes

the knowing grew.

this was moving into understanding.

as the knowing grew

so did the shame.

why?

she continued on with life,

going to the dungeon as she did,

but it was different

she was going with purpose

with curiosity.

what is my draw to this place?

it is a representation.

she was going deep.

can i handle this depth?

yes

the inner dialogue continued and expanded.

her shame was changing into forgiveness.

"this doesn't make any sense."

the next time she went to a dungeon,

it was no dungeon at all.

it was a soft, quiet space.

it was peaceful,

and private,

and safe from the harms of the world outside.

: how could i get this so backward?

if the walls could talk,,,she wondered

"we can"

enlighten me please.

"this is your safe space my love.

we've been here for you all your life.

your perception of us changed, but we remain ever the same.

we are your greatest indicator.

what you see in us,

you feel in yourself. the deepest feeling. "

indicator of what? she asked.

"now, you have to answer that one..

if only the walls could talk"

she laughed.

then cried.

she rolled and rolled and rolled.

pulling herself through agony,

and this time,

choosing to see it all.

not to hide or shame or blame.

but to BE there,

with every ounce of her presence.

it made clear and perfect sense.

and she now understood why she was avoiding it.

her choice to feel was her choice to heal.

where better than her safe space?

she came to,

refreshed, lightened.

messy hair and a puffy face,

she had never felt so clean.

she opened her eyes to a boundless space,

but she knows she hadn't moved.

it was a fairy essence forrest wonderland.

huh>?

in complete awe, she was

she had never even imagined something so lovely.

"sometimes, the walls need to talk, and have somebody listen."

thank you.

she felt a tingle in the center of her forehead.

with eyes closed:

i know now; life is meant to change.