thoughts are not driving

as i move through this wake, i continue to find fascination with the idea of our thoughts and ideas and what we attach ourselves too. i have been experiencing a pattern of old thoughts, attention-seeking ideas, and lack of self-assurance. it makes me wonder why, and what i have come to understand is that there is no why. it simply is the fact that we can think about what we choose to think about. this is not plain and simple, many of our thought patterns and ideas are rooted in pain we have experienced in our life- they act as a line of defense for us- which makes me love my body and mind even more. in order to change those, you have to explore them. exploration of your thoughts always leads to a discovery. yes, a lot can be painful, but pain never comes without pleasure. expanding your willingness to experience pain opens the way for a greater experience of pleasure, which will be reflected in thought. we have access to the entirety of existence, yet we limit ourselves soooo deeply. we think the same things, hold the same ideas, like they're gonna go somewhere! it becomes easier at times to sit back and just let your mind do what it pleases, but much of the time what it does is not enjoyable. i found myself in the routine and letting my mind fall into the loop out of laziness and i was miserable! i no longer aligned with the thoughts at all, yet i let them circle through my mind. each moment, i am reminding myself of the responsibility i have here, and that i am chosen to direct the ship. when something is off, i bring it back on. it is not how it starts, it's how you finish it. what is really being tested is my strength. my awareness is always there, but am i strong enough to face and puncture the darkness when it appears? today, i will remind myself i have the entirety of the universe rooting for me and my education. with that blessing, i will create the life my soul so desires and be here with my body and mind.

happy thoughts big love brave souls

xxxx