re-enterance

an idea i have been toying with stems from my evolution through old, draining patterns.

our whole life is simply a series of habitual and endless patterns, tied to certain emotions, which lead us to repertory circumstances. when i first started taking responsibility for my life, i was exposed to the rawness of my own toxic patterns.

: i would feel a certain way, be flooded by predictable, yet painful thoughts, have the same reaction as the last time and continue on until it happened again.

i am talking specifically about self-sabotaging patterns, patterns that put up a blockage between our being and our desired life flow.

as i have identified my own patterns, i know them very well. i recognize what has the capacity to set me off into one of these harmful cycles. as your awareness grows, so does your understanding.

once you become aware of your own draining behavior patterns, you can see their roots. specifically what aspect of yourself it has tied to. an example for me is i saw seeds of insecurity, abandonment, and self-pity. this is so much easier to manage than the entirety of a pattern.

i have come to a point where these patterns no longer have a hold on me, they do not control my life as they once did. this is odd because i truly haven't known them any other way. now, they are simply an experience like any other i have in my life. i have chosen to integrate these feelings through acceptance.

so the title, reentrance. this is a very very important part of the journey, as i am learning.

once you have broken your tie to the patterns, the universe will test you. it will throw you blindly into a memorized pattern, and see if you truly have the strength and awareness to navigate it.

this is absolutely essential in growth. you step out, feel the freedom and love, then just to be extra extra sure, you have to go back, collect any remaining energy and clear any karma that exists in your old ways.

i had faced a lot of confusion because i didn't understand why i found myself in these old ways. yet i realized the clarity and wisdom i had when i was within them. they aren't going to disappear, we have to navigate our way through them.

so, if you are in a battle with your negative beliefs and patterns, stop. fighting never ever works. what does is release and surrender. allowing myself to fully feel the darkness that was hiding hurt, but in it, my greatest growth happened. these patterns are apart of us and wildly enough they have brought us great safety and comfort in the world. but, if you are reading this, i know you are ready to abandon that form of comfort.

do not get discouraged when you find yourself in your old ways, you are only there to learn. you are not doing anything wrong, you are simply given the opportunity to rewrite history. ask yourself questions, move slow, understand why. that is what we are truly working toward: clarity. to heal, the soul needs to understand the why.

to create a way out, you first have to understand the way you came in.

sometimes what you think is the same old same old, is actually a crisp opportunity to ascend the given circumstances.

rooting for you.

xxxo sm